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Update on Commissions, struggling with anxiety
5 months ago
TLDR: Please bear with me about commission progress, I'm trying to get back on my feet but it takes time
Heyho.
Some may remember my journal talking about the possibility of me having ADHD. Well, I got diagnosed in September and it came back unconclusive, meaning it either could be it or my issues stem from my shitty childhood. The plan was to try out ADHD meds regardless to see if they do something.
I was scheduled for december, but this tuesday I ended up seeing my psychiatrist earlier because I was struggling so much with persistent brain fog that I couldn't get anything done.
And well, within an hour of me taking it, the fog has lifted. I can think clearly now and don't look or feel so spaced out anymore. Honestly I couldn't be happier. This is all I hoped for.
Though as you may already guess, there's other roadblocks in my way still. <_< The brain fog is gone, but anxiety continues to be an issue, unfortunately.
So, about Commissions:
At the moment, I can't draw anything without it hitting me hard. It sucks and it's freaking awful but I've been there more times than I can count. Something about ADHD Brain dredging up all the bad experiences and shoving them in my face when I'm trying to do something. (At least that's how a user on the ADHD subreddit described it to me when I vented there) It makes perfect sense to me though because it keeps happening.
All I can do right now is take baby steps to make Brain realize drawing isn't this big scary thing trying to kill us. (I'm not joking when I say it makes me go into a panic if I go over threshhold and push through it)
Here's hoping I can nib it in the bud soon and show more progress on owed work.
Heyho.
Some may remember my journal talking about the possibility of me having ADHD. Well, I got diagnosed in September and it came back unconclusive, meaning it either could be it or my issues stem from my shitty childhood. The plan was to try out ADHD meds regardless to see if they do something.
I was scheduled for december, but this tuesday I ended up seeing my psychiatrist earlier because I was struggling so much with persistent brain fog that I couldn't get anything done.
And well, within an hour of me taking it, the fog has lifted. I can think clearly now and don't look or feel so spaced out anymore. Honestly I couldn't be happier. This is all I hoped for.
Though as you may already guess, there's other roadblocks in my way still. <_< The brain fog is gone, but anxiety continues to be an issue, unfortunately.
So, about Commissions:
At the moment, I can't draw anything without it hitting me hard. It sucks and it's freaking awful but I've been there more times than I can count. Something about ADHD Brain dredging up all the bad experiences and shoving them in my face when I'm trying to do something. (At least that's how a user on the ADHD subreddit described it to me when I vented there) It makes perfect sense to me though because it keeps happening.
All I can do right now is take baby steps to make Brain realize drawing isn't this big scary thing trying to kill us. (I'm not joking when I say it makes me go into a panic if I go over threshhold and push through it)
Here's hoping I can nib it in the bud soon and show more progress on owed work.
Best of luck in your journey, man, I'm a huge fan of your work, I hope everything goes well for you! <3
I don't like to rely on them but taking a benzo yesterday seemed to have smoothed things over regarding drawing anxiety. At least I'm not panicky anymore haha.
Here's hoping I can get back into it.
Thank you so much for the kind words, I appreciate it lots! <3