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A few of my friends will know the past week and a bit I've been in a pretty dark place. Shine often forces me to think of my real past and quite a lot of childhood stuff, and Shine has also forced me to really reflect on my relationship with my family members and actually really sorta understand that my parents were abusive. Whether they meant to be or not (and some times they def knew what they were doing) But this was the page that triggered that reflection and subsequent spiral into dark places.
I used to hate the fact I was AB/DL. Like most of us into this don't chose to be. It's sort of wired in some how, hard coded. I used to hate it. It used to make me feel so messed up that I wanted to be small and helpless, It then made me resentful that I WASNT small and helpless and like ultimately being a baby is kinda unobtainable...right. So you just go round and round thinking you're wired wrong and why is this even a thing...
But then the internet came along and I started to meet others like me, I started to build relationships and well I see now that if I wasnt an AB/DL/Babyfur/little/ageregressor(whatever tag...personally i identify with all of those) Then I wouldnt be here. I wouldnt know some amazing people I wouldnt have done some amazing things.
What im saying in a long winded way is that...yes my real family is messed up, my childhood was messed up, but I now have new friends because of my kink that Im closer to than many of my real family.
If you cant wait to see what happens next The next 2 pages can be found on my patreon over here https://www.patreon.com/squiggle and if there was any point at which you'd wanna read next mondays shine page...todays probably that day....Just saying.
A few of my friends will know the past week and a bit I've been in a pretty dark place. Shine often forces me to think of my real past and quite a lot of childhood stuff, and Shine has also forced me to really reflect on my relationship with my family members and actually really sorta understand that my parents were abusive. Whether they meant to be or not (and some times they def knew what they were doing) But this was the page that triggered that reflection and subsequent spiral into dark places.
I used to hate the fact I was AB/DL. Like most of us into this don't chose to be. It's sort of wired in some how, hard coded. I used to hate it. It used to make me feel so messed up that I wanted to be small and helpless, It then made me resentful that I WASNT small and helpless and like ultimately being a baby is kinda unobtainable...right. So you just go round and round thinking you're wired wrong and why is this even a thing...
But then the internet came along and I started to meet others like me, I started to build relationships and well I see now that if I wasnt an AB/DL/Babyfur/little/ageregressor(whatever tag...personally i identify with all of those) Then I wouldnt be here. I wouldnt know some amazing people I wouldnt have done some amazing things.
What im saying in a long winded way is that...yes my real family is messed up, my childhood was messed up, but I now have new friends because of my kink that Im closer to than many of my real family.
If you cant wait to see what happens next The next 2 pages can be found on my patreon over here https://www.patreon.com/squiggle and if there was any point at which you'd wanna read next mondays shine page...todays probably that day....Just saying.
Category All / Baby fur
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 2421 x 3425px
File Size 7.25 MB
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OMG YAY! First again! Also, FINALLY someone outright said it! That is NOT a healthy family dynamic! But hey, that's why your chosen family is AWESOME!
Offers Hugs
Hmmm, I wonder if maybe Martin might be up for some babysitting overnight? I'm sure he's got some spare padding around...
Offers Hugs
Hmmm, I wonder if maybe Martin might be up for some babysitting overnight? I'm sure he's got some spare padding around...
XanaAttack Finally someone who gets that quote right, everybody just says 'blood is thicker than water' and that takes away the whole meaning of the phrase.
This is just some modern interpretation of the original from the 12th century only had blood is thicker than water. Which btw was just "blood is thicker than water". Kind of a stretch in my opinion to assume blood obtained in battle with brothers in arms is thicker than family ties to one's parents, was the original meaning when said back in the 12th century.
Blood is thicker than water is a medieval proverb in English that means that familial bonds will always be stronger than bonds of friendship or love. The oldest record of this saying can be traced back in the 12th century in German.
The equivalent proverb in German (originally: Blut ist dicker als Wasser), first appeared in a different form in the medieval German beast epic Reinhart Fuchs (c. 1180; English: Reynard the Fox) by Heinrich der Glîchezære. The 13th-century Heidelberg manuscript reads in part, "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet" (lines 265-266). In English it reads, "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water." which may in part refer to distance not changing familial ties or duties, due to the high seas being tamed.
In 1412, the English priest John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind / Drawn-to blood, where he may it find."
By 1670, the modern version was included in John Ray's collected Proverbs, and later appeared in Scottish author John Moore's Zeluco (1789) "So you see there is little danger of my forgetting them, and far less blood relations; for surely blood is thicker than water.", Sir Walter Scott's novel Guy Mannering (1815): "Weel — Blud's [sic] thicker than water — she's welcome to the cheeses." and in English reformer Thomas Hughes's Tom Brown's School Days (1857).
The phrase was first attested in the United States in the Journal of Athabasca Department (1821)." On June 25, 1859, U.S. Navy Commodore Josiah Tattnall, in command of the U.S. Squadron in Far Eastern waters, made this adage a part of U.S. history when explaining why he had given aid to the British squadron in an attack on Taku Forts at the mouth of the Pei Ho River, thereby abandoning the strict American policy of neutrality that had been adopted in the Second Opium War after the Battle of the Barrier Forts.
The use of the word "blood" to refer to kin or familial relations has roots dating back to Greek and Roman traditions. This usage of the term was seen in the English-speaking world from the late 1300s.
Although not specifically related to the expression, H.C. Trumbull notes an interesting comparison of blood and milk in the Arab world:
We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water.
More recently, Aldous Huxley's Ninth Philosopher's Song (1920) approached the proverb differently, stating, "Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker / But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood."
Two modern commentators, authors Albert Jack and R. Richard Pustelniak, claim the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Blood is thicker than water is a medieval proverb in English that means that familial bonds will always be stronger than bonds of friendship or love. The oldest record of this saying can be traced back in the 12th century in German.
The equivalent proverb in German (originally: Blut ist dicker als Wasser), first appeared in a different form in the medieval German beast epic Reinhart Fuchs (c. 1180; English: Reynard the Fox) by Heinrich der Glîchezære. The 13th-century Heidelberg manuscript reads in part, "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet" (lines 265-266). In English it reads, "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water." which may in part refer to distance not changing familial ties or duties, due to the high seas being tamed.
In 1412, the English priest John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind / Drawn-to blood, where he may it find."
By 1670, the modern version was included in John Ray's collected Proverbs, and later appeared in Scottish author John Moore's Zeluco (1789) "So you see there is little danger of my forgetting them, and far less blood relations; for surely blood is thicker than water.", Sir Walter Scott's novel Guy Mannering (1815): "Weel — Blud's [sic] thicker than water — she's welcome to the cheeses." and in English reformer Thomas Hughes's Tom Brown's School Days (1857).
The phrase was first attested in the United States in the Journal of Athabasca Department (1821)." On June 25, 1859, U.S. Navy Commodore Josiah Tattnall, in command of the U.S. Squadron in Far Eastern waters, made this adage a part of U.S. history when explaining why he had given aid to the British squadron in an attack on Taku Forts at the mouth of the Pei Ho River, thereby abandoning the strict American policy of neutrality that had been adopted in the Second Opium War after the Battle of the Barrier Forts.
The use of the word "blood" to refer to kin or familial relations has roots dating back to Greek and Roman traditions. This usage of the term was seen in the English-speaking world from the late 1300s.
Although not specifically related to the expression, H.C. Trumbull notes an interesting comparison of blood and milk in the Arab world:
We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water.
More recently, Aldous Huxley's Ninth Philosopher's Song (1920) approached the proverb differently, stating, "Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker / But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood."
Two modern commentators, authors Albert Jack and R. Richard Pustelniak, claim the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
This is just some modern interpretation of the original from the 12th century only had blood is thicker than water. Which btw was just "blood is thicker than water". Kind of a stretch in my opinion to assume blood obtained in battle with brothers in arms is thicker than family ties to one's parents, was the original meaning when said back in the 12th century.
Blood is thicker than water is a medieval proverb in English that means that familial bonds will always be stronger than bonds of friendship or love. The oldest record of this saying can be traced back in the 12th century in German.
The equivalent proverb in German (originally: Blut ist dicker als Wasser), first appeared in a different form in the medieval German beast epic Reinhart Fuchs (c. 1180; English: Reynard the Fox) by Heinrich der Glîchezære. The 13th-century Heidelberg manuscript reads in part, "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet" (lines 265-266). In English it reads, "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water." which may in part refer to distance not changing familial ties or duties, due to the high seas being tamed.
In 1412, the English priest John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind / Drawn-to blood, where he may it find."
By 1670, the modern version was included in John Ray's collected Proverbs, and later appeared in Scottish author John Moore's Zeluco (1789) "So you see there is little danger of my forgetting them, and far less blood relations; for surely blood is thicker than water.", Sir Walter Scott's novel Guy Mannering (1815): "Weel — Blud's [sic] thicker than water — she's welcome to the cheeses." and in English reformer Thomas Hughes's Tom Brown's School Days (1857).
The phrase was first attested in the United States in the Journal of Athabasca Department (1821)." On June 25, 1859, U.S. Navy Commodore Josiah Tattnall, in command of the U.S. Squadron in Far Eastern waters, made this adage a part of U.S. history when explaining why he had given aid to the British squadron in an attack on Taku Forts at the mouth of the Pei Ho River, thereby abandoning the strict American policy of neutrality that had been adopted in the Second Opium War after the Battle of the Barrier Forts.
The use of the word "blood" to refer to kin or familial relations has roots dating back to Greek and Roman traditions. This usage of the term was seen in the English-speaking world from the late 1300s.
Although not specifically related to the expression, H.C. Trumbull notes an interesting comparison of blood and milk in the Arab world:
We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water.
More recently, Aldous Huxley's Ninth Philosopher's Song (1920) approached the proverb differently, stating, "Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker / But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood."
Two modern commentators, authors Albert Jack and R. Richard Pustelniak, claim the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
Blood is thicker than water is a medieval proverb in English that means that familial bonds will always be stronger than bonds of friendship or love. The oldest record of this saying can be traced back in the 12th century in German.
The equivalent proverb in German (originally: Blut ist dicker als Wasser), first appeared in a different form in the medieval German beast epic Reinhart Fuchs (c. 1180; English: Reynard the Fox) by Heinrich der Glîchezære. The 13th-century Heidelberg manuscript reads in part, "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet" (lines 265-266). In English it reads, "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water." which may in part refer to distance not changing familial ties or duties, due to the high seas being tamed.
In 1412, the English priest John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind / Drawn-to blood, where he may it find."
By 1670, the modern version was included in John Ray's collected Proverbs, and later appeared in Scottish author John Moore's Zeluco (1789) "So you see there is little danger of my forgetting them, and far less blood relations; for surely blood is thicker than water.", Sir Walter Scott's novel Guy Mannering (1815): "Weel — Blud's [sic] thicker than water — she's welcome to the cheeses." and in English reformer Thomas Hughes's Tom Brown's School Days (1857).
The phrase was first attested in the United States in the Journal of Athabasca Department (1821)." On June 25, 1859, U.S. Navy Commodore Josiah Tattnall, in command of the U.S. Squadron in Far Eastern waters, made this adage a part of U.S. history when explaining why he had given aid to the British squadron in an attack on Taku Forts at the mouth of the Pei Ho River, thereby abandoning the strict American policy of neutrality that had been adopted in the Second Opium War after the Battle of the Barrier Forts.
The use of the word "blood" to refer to kin or familial relations has roots dating back to Greek and Roman traditions. This usage of the term was seen in the English-speaking world from the late 1300s.
Although not specifically related to the expression, H.C. Trumbull notes an interesting comparison of blood and milk in the Arab world:
We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water.
More recently, Aldous Huxley's Ninth Philosopher's Song (1920) approached the proverb differently, stating, "Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker / But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood."
Two modern commentators, authors Albert Jack and R. Richard Pustelniak, claim the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."
first one was to give another use a correction to misinformation he was given by XanaAttack
second one was me fat finger typing on my phone
third one (the comment you replied too) is to get this person XanaAttack to stop spreading misinformation, which is the biggest issue in society today.
second one was me fat finger typing on my phone
third one (the comment you replied too) is to get this person XanaAttack to stop spreading misinformation, which is the biggest issue in society today.
While it's not wrong to say that the ABDL community can be a second family (or, really, like any other fandom/group), it can be just as bad as a "real" family.
At least in my experience.Obviously, YMMV.
But still, at the end of the day, we're all in this together and gotta support those we care about or that care about us, right back. :3
Very nice page there, kitten. I might've grown broken and cynical, but it's still very nice.
Yeah... still nice.
At least in my experience.Obviously, YMMV.
But still, at the end of the day, we're all in this together and gotta support those we care about or that care about us, right back. :3
Very nice page there, kitten. I might've grown broken and cynical, but it's still very nice.
Yeah... still nice.
Truthfully large chunks of my AB/DL childhood have been well...horrific, its not been perfect, not by a long shot, which is why things like the blackmail arc is important to me, as hard as it is to draw and read, there are nasty people out there. Ive met some really bad/abusive people on my journey exploring my little side and she has been irrevokably damaged as a result.
You can patch wounds up but they'll never be perfect again. Its the whole scrunch a bit of paper up and try to make it pristene again..you cant, there will always be crumples and imperfections.
Our experiences impact us can really wound us and create insecurities in us. But I always promised myself that I'd treat each person as an individual. So whilst some folk in the community really damaged my trust and naivety, I've tried really hard to make sure that doesnt jade me too much and mistrust the community as a whole
You can patch wounds up but they'll never be perfect again. Its the whole scrunch a bit of paper up and try to make it pristene again..you cant, there will always be crumples and imperfections.
Our experiences impact us can really wound us and create insecurities in us. But I always promised myself that I'd treat each person as an individual. So whilst some folk in the community really damaged my trust and naivety, I've tried really hard to make sure that doesnt jade me too much and mistrust the community as a whole
I hear you there.
I've had my fair amount of people who broke/damaged/took advantage/broke promises to me and/or my little side, despite my limited "exposure".
I've honestly stopped counting the number of times someone took advantage of my trust and/or vulnerability for their own gain/satisfaction.
I understand that everyone has something they get out of it, but... Saying one thing and doing the complete opposite, or just outright promising something and not "delivering" have been staples of my experiences within the community. And while I try, dear dog do I ever try, to remain in a position similar as yours where I treat everyone as individuals, I've lost faith in people in general.
So I try to give people a chance, but at the same time I fully expect to be used and disappointed in the end. *shrugs*
Which is why I label myself as cynical.
And probably why you're a better person than I ever can be regarding this. >_>
I've had my fair amount of people who broke/damaged/took advantage/broke promises to me and/or my little side, despite my limited "exposure".
I've honestly stopped counting the number of times someone took advantage of my trust and/or vulnerability for their own gain/satisfaction.
I understand that everyone has something they get out of it, but... Saying one thing and doing the complete opposite, or just outright promising something and not "delivering" have been staples of my experiences within the community. And while I try, dear dog do I ever try, to remain in a position similar as yours where I treat everyone as individuals, I've lost faith in people in general.
So I try to give people a chance, but at the same time I fully expect to be used and disappointed in the end. *shrugs*
Which is why I label myself as cynical.
And probably why you're a better person than I ever can be regarding this. >_>
i feel you. i got into truble a lot for stealing wearing and later buying my own diapers it was an emotional hell for me being told something as fun and comferting and harmless as a diaper is wrong... i wish i had at least had friends growing up but i dident.. would have been nice to have at least one person i could always talk too as a grew up. i envy thos in the comunity who have parents that suported them sleepovers where fun things hapend with diapers invalved and just having somone other than family be there for them. i wish i had had alll of that
"You know, parents, they're supposed to love you unconditionally... right?"
I remember when I tried to use that exact philosophy on my mother when she was going off on me about my appearance, again, and she just laughed saying that love is absolutely based on conditions and very finite and that you don't waste love on people that are ugly, addicted to drugs, etc.
The worst part is her own brother once struggled with alcoholism, so did she actually not love her own brother while he was going through that period?
I remember when I tried to use that exact philosophy on my mother when she was going off on me about my appearance, again, and she just laughed saying that love is absolutely based on conditions and very finite and that you don't waste love on people that are ugly, addicted to drugs, etc.
The worst part is her own brother once struggled with alcoholism, so did she actually not love her own brother while he was going through that period?
So true, so true. I am lucky to have parents who care, who didn't abuse as I grew. They were strict in some ways, and my younger self was stupid and didn't see that. I still can't tell them about things that I like or see positively (such as ABDLism), and how many of you all are like family, in some ways closer since I can confide things to them I couldn't.
This also amuses me because of a game I play where a syndicate (NPC faction you gain trust/standing with) called the "VentKids" exists. Many of them are orphans or runaways or other reasons. As you rise through their ranks, the final rank is "Logical". They use street kid/skater lingo, and "Logical" references your chosen family, the crew you ride with and confide in.
While you have no choice in your biological fam, you have choice in your logical fam, and they take that seriously. So I totally got the connection there ^^ A lot of you are my logical family~
This also amuses me because of a game I play where a syndicate (NPC faction you gain trust/standing with) called the "VentKids" exists. Many of them are orphans or runaways or other reasons. As you rise through their ranks, the final rank is "Logical". They use street kid/skater lingo, and "Logical" references your chosen family, the crew you ride with and confide in.
While you have no choice in your biological fam, you have choice in your logical fam, and they take that seriously. So I totally got the connection there ^^ A lot of you are my logical family~
First of all love your profile pic
I'm 17 and therefore my childhood/teenage hood isn't over but I have abusive parents both my mom and my dad take parts in different kinds of abuse I just had an episode my father waiving Goodbye for ever and giving me a handshake, a freaking handshake (for those who don't know in Argentina you only handshake someone that A. repels you
B. Is in an office or work environment and it's a superior (and even then is kind of weird depending situation)
C. Is businesses and have to be super serious
We normally use a kiss in the cheek for a goodbye and hello) this was this Thursday after spending days barely speaking to each other and me asking for a well deserved apology for him desapearing in younger teenage years he just dropped me and waived goodbye for good. Needless to say that I'm in depressed mindset trying to make tiny steps so that I don't feel depressed but I am because I feel worthless.
I'm destroyed barely moving out of bed and because of quarantine I can't go to the pool or to a place where I can talk till I'm better. So it's in times like this when you need a really loving people besides you.
I'm 17 and therefore my childhood/teenage hood isn't over but I have abusive parents both my mom and my dad take parts in different kinds of abuse I just had an episode my father waiving Goodbye for ever and giving me a handshake, a freaking handshake (for those who don't know in Argentina you only handshake someone that A. repels you
B. Is in an office or work environment and it's a superior (and even then is kind of weird depending situation)
C. Is businesses and have to be super serious
We normally use a kiss in the cheek for a goodbye and hello) this was this Thursday after spending days barely speaking to each other and me asking for a well deserved apology for him desapearing in younger teenage years he just dropped me and waived goodbye for good. Needless to say that I'm in depressed mindset trying to make tiny steps so that I don't feel depressed but I am because I feel worthless.
I'm destroyed barely moving out of bed and because of quarantine I can't go to the pool or to a place where I can talk till I'm better. So it's in times like this when you need a really loving people besides you.
I can see where these would be difficult pages to work on :[
I've always been of the mind that you don't have to maintain relationships with toxic family members just because they're your family. I've taken measures to distance myself from my own brother, he's kind of a piece of shit. Not enough to cut him out entirely, but enough to want to minimize my interaction with him. I can only imagine how ABDL communities must have formed before the internet. From the very young age I developed this interest I spent years confused and thinking I was broken somehow until my family got a computer and I was able to start looking into it for myself.
I've always been of the mind that you don't have to maintain relationships with toxic family members just because they're your family. I've taken measures to distance myself from my own brother, he's kind of a piece of shit. Not enough to cut him out entirely, but enough to want to minimize my interaction with him. I can only imagine how ABDL communities must have formed before the internet. From the very young age I developed this interest I spent years confused and thinking I was broken somehow until my family got a computer and I was able to start looking into it for myself.
hugs
I know this feeling all too well. I still live with my folks and have to hide my child self sometimes...they think it's weird at best, sexual at worst (mom's bf). So, I know how broken families can be. Glad the Internet exists though, it helps us connect to others, plus people in this community can be more understanding thankfully.
I was also lucky to meet my bestest friend (brother) IRL at a Teen Connection (when I was younger for kids with autism) and we've been like brothers for years. We can talk to each other about anything and it feels so much better.
Sorry for the ramble...Stay strong, Star.
I know this feeling all too well. I still live with my folks and have to hide my child self sometimes...they think it's weird at best, sexual at worst (mom's bf). So, I know how broken families can be. Glad the Internet exists though, it helps us connect to others, plus people in this community can be more understanding thankfully.
I was also lucky to meet my bestest friend (brother) IRL at a Teen Connection (when I was younger for kids with autism) and we've been like brothers for years. We can talk to each other about anything and it feels so much better.
Sorry for the ramble...Stay strong, Star.
..... I can completely relate to this.. all of this. My childhood was violent from the time I was 4-6. I was degraded, belittled, punished for nearly everything. Due to that.. I only knew DV as what I should have.. So I looked for that for like... 25 plus years? I have been in a very good poly relationship with my mate but the effects from the lifetime of abuse is still there. I still think that the world is gonna end. I still think that I deserve to be abused.. It is really hard to stay positive. My bio family NEVER understood that and never will. I tried to talk to them about it.. They just act like it never happened. That hurts the most.. it really does. So because of them and my ex husband.. Trust is very sacred to me. I am scared of males mostly. I always think my mate who is my best friend will leave me. It is hard. This page really did bring those memories and thoughts.
AB/DL Communties... I love the whole vibe behind them. While I am only in the community through online, I still try to learn about it everywhere I can. That is why I treasure Shine so much because I feel like I can relate to it. It does boost up my barely existed confidence.
Star, you are an amazing person. You are a fighter. Those of us who have been abused are survivors! It may be hard to remember to think positive.. hell.. that is hard to me. But remember.. Blood is never thicker than water in this case. You don't choose your family.. They choose you. That goes for chosen families as well. *lots of hugs*
AB/DL Communties... I love the whole vibe behind them. While I am only in the community through online, I still try to learn about it everywhere I can. That is why I treasure Shine so much because I feel like I can relate to it. It does boost up my barely existed confidence.
Star, you are an amazing person. You are a fighter. Those of us who have been abused are survivors! It may be hard to remember to think positive.. hell.. that is hard to me. But remember.. Blood is never thicker than water in this case. You don't choose your family.. They choose you. That goes for chosen families as well. *lots of hugs*
Sending you love and hugs. It’s not easy growing up and realizing over time all of the abuse you’ve endured at the hands of the people who are supposed to love you and care for you. It’s also not easy struggling with those early ABDL thoughts/feelings before finding the community in any capacity. Nor is it easy years later looking back on all of those things you’ve endured- it’s like opening an old wound all over again. But you’re so strong, and your story inspires so many of us (myself included). Please do not ever forget your strength and power. 💖
I've often said that your first family is a trial family, that it's a baseline for learning how to cohabitate with other people. It's also an imperative behavior, to start some sort of a conjugal family.
But the starting family isn't the one you choose/build, and it's of course uncertain if the members in that first family are people you'll get on with. You may even have a favorable relationship with them when you're going up, but later you may simply drift apart, will become very different people.
We are codependent out of the gate, are completely reliant on one or two people, who are in the throes of their own adolescence. And their adolescence may've been categorically difficult. Above all, you have no control over any of it. That's a vulnerable place to be and it takes a long time to put all of it into context.
Thankfully, though, when we're older, we have the agency to act on our internal/external conditions, and to work towards understanding how we've developed based on how we've been raised. There's less of an incentive to conform to certain behaviors and ideas, which was what we would do to gain favor in the family unit.
Now, you can follow an actualizing route that's based on truth and acceptance, and you can now decide who you want to share yourself with.
But the starting family isn't the one you choose/build, and it's of course uncertain if the members in that first family are people you'll get on with. You may even have a favorable relationship with them when you're going up, but later you may simply drift apart, will become very different people.
We are codependent out of the gate, are completely reliant on one or two people, who are in the throes of their own adolescence. And their adolescence may've been categorically difficult. Above all, you have no control over any of it. That's a vulnerable place to be and it takes a long time to put all of it into context.
Thankfully, though, when we're older, we have the agency to act on our internal/external conditions, and to work towards understanding how we've developed based on how we've been raised. There's less of an incentive to conform to certain behaviors and ideas, which was what we would do to gain favor in the family unit.
Now, you can follow an actualizing route that's based on truth and acceptance, and you can now decide who you want to share yourself with.
"But then the internet came along and I started to meet others like me, I started to build relationships and well I see now that if I wasnt an AB/DL/Babyfur/little/ageregressor(whatever tag...personally i identify with all of those) Then I wouldnt be here. I wouldnt know some amazing people I wouldnt have done some amazing things."
For all the messes it causes, for all the angst and trouble, for all the Twitter flame wars and all the Youtube comments section... as a queer kid from rural Kentucky, the advent of the internet saved my life. I am thoroughly convinced without the internet I'd have committed suicide years ago.
For all the messes it causes, for all the angst and trouble, for all the Twitter flame wars and all the Youtube comments section... as a queer kid from rural Kentucky, the advent of the internet saved my life. I am thoroughly convinced without the internet I'd have committed suicide years ago.
Listen to your daddy Kitten he knows what he's talking about you need to start opening up more to your daddy and your friends both IN AND OUT of the AB/DL community. You are doing good so far but you really need to let it go and learn that asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness. Only the weak refuse to get help for their issues/problems because they are too afraid to do it and fear is nothing but a state of mind that can criple you if you let it.
Now be a good kitten and ask your daddy to put you into a nappy so you don't have an accident in his car and mess up the seats :P
Now be a good kitten and ask your daddy to put you into a nappy so you don't have an accident in his car and mess up the seats :P
Honestly I'm kinda in the same boat as you, only still in the "living with family/ getting my life together" stage. Do i sometimes hate that I'm the way I am? Yeah. Is it because I can't express it? Probably. I have a feeling when Star's mystery sibling appears, that will hit home again soon
I read this comic and sometimes cry, not of sadness but happy that someone has gone through and made it to the other side. It gives me hope.
Thank you Star <3
I read this comic and sometimes cry, not of sadness but happy that someone has gone through and made it to the other side. It gives me hope.
Thank you Star <3
hey star. as someone who came from an immensely abusive background, i always wondered ....when i saw how you talked about your parents, the words that rang in my head were "abuse." but it's not my place to tell someone y'know, what i think regarding that.
however, i'm glad you found some peace, and i hope you keep finding it. i'm not super big into a lot of aspects of ABDL (more sfw babygirl stuff, but hey! there's some ABDL stuff i like. like this comic <3) anyway, i do regress and my bf is often my daddy. i never had a good father. my father is an evil, evil man. it's scary to even think i came from someone like that. but my point is, please take time if you need, let yourself process this, don't push forward if you need some time to yourself to get out of the dark place.
you deserve happiness like everyone else. and i'm sorry for your past, but i'm glad you're here now, and i hope you can keep on with everything that makes you happy. <3
however, i'm glad you found some peace, and i hope you keep finding it. i'm not super big into a lot of aspects of ABDL (more sfw babygirl stuff, but hey! there's some ABDL stuff i like. like this comic <3) anyway, i do regress and my bf is often my daddy. i never had a good father. my father is an evil, evil man. it's scary to even think i came from someone like that. but my point is, please take time if you need, let yourself process this, don't push forward if you need some time to yourself to get out of the dark place.
you deserve happiness like everyone else. and i'm sorry for your past, but i'm glad you're here now, and i hope you can keep on with everything that makes you happy. <3
dam martin do you have a single gay brother that has the same mindset as you because i am single & looking. also star feel the same about a lot of my family is stubborn & set in the old ways & probably will never know what is truly on my mind because there either gossip queens, bigoted rednecks or overly religious type. so talking about "taboo" topics dont go over to well.
Sammy, I think the entire community is must better off because you're here. I think this page speaks for so many of us. I am fortunate that while she was still mentally cognizant, my Mom was like Martin's mum, willing to accept, not judgemental. The rest of the family, not so much.
I question my own life, and how I feel about being a little, whether or not I am, or should be. It's been over two years since I've been able to be in that mental place, I've kind of given up on it, but in the last few days, I've had some really weird and vivid dreams about being a little again, and some of the most outrageous diapers! LOL
So, yeah, I understand. I think you're in a great place, with Paul, and that he's most likely a rock for you, and I'm glad for that. You are important, you are a rallying point for the community. No, I'm sure you don't want to think of yourself that way, or hear that, but you DO speak, through Shine, Found and other stuff, for many of us, and we're thankful.
By the way, one day short of four years, today, my Order of Protection was lifted. That is a relief. Also, I may be moving to another county to take on a position working for our State Department of Veteran's affairs, working in another one of the Homeless Facilities. I apparently impressed our Program Manager and he wants me there. So, a little bit of sunshine in my life.
Hugs you tightly, you ARE important, and we, as a whole, are thankful for you.
I question my own life, and how I feel about being a little, whether or not I am, or should be. It's been over two years since I've been able to be in that mental place, I've kind of given up on it, but in the last few days, I've had some really weird and vivid dreams about being a little again, and some of the most outrageous diapers! LOL
So, yeah, I understand. I think you're in a great place, with Paul, and that he's most likely a rock for you, and I'm glad for that. You are important, you are a rallying point for the community. No, I'm sure you don't want to think of yourself that way, or hear that, but you DO speak, through Shine, Found and other stuff, for many of us, and we're thankful.
By the way, one day short of four years, today, my Order of Protection was lifted. That is a relief. Also, I may be moving to another county to take on a position working for our State Department of Veteran's affairs, working in another one of the Homeless Facilities. I apparently impressed our Program Manager and he wants me there. So, a little bit of sunshine in my life.
Hugs you tightly, you ARE important, and we, as a whole, are thankful for you.
I'm 17 and therefore my childhood/teenage hood isn't over but I have abusive parents both my mom and my dad take parts in different kinds of abuse I just had an episode my father waiving Goodbye for ever and giving me a handshake, a freaking handshake (for those who don't know in Argentina you only handshake someone that A. repels you
B. Is in an office or work environment and it's a superior (and even then is kind of weird depending situation)
C. Is businesses and have to be super serious
We normally use a kiss in the cheek for a goodbye and hello) this was this Thursday after spending days barely speaking to each other and me asking for a well deserved apology for him desapearing in younger teenage years he just dropped me and waived goodbye for good. Needless to say that I'm in depressed mindset trying to make tiny steps so that I don't feel depressed but I am because I feel worthless.
I'm destroyed barely moving out of bed and because of quarantine I can't go to the pool or to a place where I can talk till I'm better. So it's in times like this when you need a really loving people besides you. Which I can't have because I'm stuck in my mother's house.
From what people told me of the situation that's emotional abuse, so yeah I feel like needing attention which I can't have irl so I need people to ventilate is 5am I can't sleep because in normal days I'm anxious and have insomnia imagine now.
B. Is in an office or work environment and it's a superior (and even then is kind of weird depending situation)
C. Is businesses and have to be super serious
We normally use a kiss in the cheek for a goodbye and hello) this was this Thursday after spending days barely speaking to each other and me asking for a well deserved apology for him desapearing in younger teenage years he just dropped me and waived goodbye for good. Needless to say that I'm in depressed mindset trying to make tiny steps so that I don't feel depressed but I am because I feel worthless.
I'm destroyed barely moving out of bed and because of quarantine I can't go to the pool or to a place where I can talk till I'm better. So it's in times like this when you need a really loving people besides you. Which I can't have because I'm stuck in my mother's house.
From what people told me of the situation that's emotional abuse, so yeah I feel like needing attention which I can't have irl so I need people to ventilate is 5am I can't sleep because in normal days I'm anxious and have insomnia imagine now.
Wise words from Martin.
Re: self hate. Me too, me too. I used to absolutely hate everything about me that didn't fit. My family is loving but greatly dysfunctional compared to most. Particularly the wider family. Things have happened that have broken trust before now and overall a rough experience that left me closing myself off.
I still identify as a LG/ab/little whatever term you prefer. I'm just usually extremely shy, withdrawn and reclusive now unless it's to do with something that particularly resonates, like shine does.
Family isn't about who's blood runs in your veins, it's who you choose to be around because you love them (partners or friends) and who chooses to be around you for the same.
I'm glad you have people now who love and support you for who you are without making you feel ashamed for being you.
Re: self hate. Me too, me too. I used to absolutely hate everything about me that didn't fit. My family is loving but greatly dysfunctional compared to most. Particularly the wider family. Things have happened that have broken trust before now and overall a rough experience that left me closing myself off.
I still identify as a LG/ab/little whatever term you prefer. I'm just usually extremely shy, withdrawn and reclusive now unless it's to do with something that particularly resonates, like shine does.
Family isn't about who's blood runs in your veins, it's who you choose to be around because you love them (partners or friends) and who chooses to be around you for the same.
I'm glad you have people now who love and support you for who you are without making you feel ashamed for being you.
You don't have to read through these comments to know that most ABDLs grow up with garbage for family. Even for as fucked up as my mother is, she did acknowledge how terrible her own family was and taught me early on that chosen family will always mean more than any blood connection. Thank you for hitting home on the hard subjects of our own realities, Star. It opens the door to comment sections like these where people can vent their own similar experiences, especially your own, and allows people to at least feel a little better about how messed up we are.
Something about you just can't not reach out to people and try and help them through feelings like these. "Weirdo" is a perfect example of this, too. I'd say that makes you quite a hero to many from what I can see :P Keep up the good work, hun! <3
Something about you just can't not reach out to people and try and help them through feelings like these. "Weirdo" is a perfect example of this, too. I'd say that makes you quite a hero to many from what I can see :P Keep up the good work, hun! <3
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