A circus dachshund decides to give a pompous baboon his comeuppance by feeding him dog food in order to screw up his bowels. However, his plan backfires once the baboon scarfs down an entire box, and then the baboon has a shitty day...

---

It was another day at the circus camp; traveling from place to place, the members were used to moving by train to foreign lands and meeting new people. Right now, it was downtime for many of the animal performers in their own area of the camp, and they were quite the colorful bunch. Striped tents, cages and makeshift huts housed everything from the elephants and lions to the monkeys and sea lions. One particular performer, a unicycle riding dachshund, was lying down and getting some sun, absorbing the sounds of daily circus life in the process.
Somewhere on the other side of the circus was a pompous baboon who was busy practicing his juggling act for the night to come. He had spent several days trying to find the right act to impress the senior animal league he was going to perform in front of. The baboon had dark brown and grey skin and a face sinister enough to make the primate look like he was ready to claw out someone's eyes. And like many other baboons, a rather large, bulging red posterior.
The dachshund had a longer, curious face, to go with his extra long body. He didn't wear anything outside of performances, though he has grown to dislike the frilly suit he has to wear. Getting up from his nap the dog starts to wander around, greeting every animal he comes across. He got along with most of them just fine. But he stops upon seeing the red-bottomed baboon. Ah, there was a character. "Nice to see you practicing for once," he comments.
"I would say I'm practicing to be better than you, but I already am. So what are you doing? Finally going to take a bath?"
The dachshund snorts. The baboon was always causing trouble for the other animals, and when he isn't he just acted high and mighty. "I already took one, thank you very much. I was just about to eat after my nap. As for tonight, well, we'll see if you're better once I use my old unicycle trick.
The baboon chuckled. "Sure thing Slobber-mouth. You really think anyone gives a crap about balancing?"
"Lots of people do!" The dachshund yelps indignantly. "Anyway, I'm going to my tent to eat. I'll leave you to practice. By the way, you really shouldn't have interrupted Renee the elephants act by throwing those firecrackers at her."
"You can't even lie and say it wasn't funny to watch her trumpet and run around like a mouse was crawling up her nose. If a frightened elephant isn't grade-A humor, I don't know what is."
The dachshund rolls his eyes, but he gets a rather mischievous idea. "Say, you might want to load up on some dinner before tonight anyway. I need to get rid of some stuff, anyway."
"That's the first idea you've had today that doesn't involve licking your nether region or smelling another animal's ass."
"Speaking of asses..." The dachshund mutters. They eventually reach his own little tent, a puny thing, but he does call it home. Within is a bowl, sleeping mat, etc. But more importantly, several boxes of assorted foods. "Here we are. What would you like? Don't worry, it's not dog food." Of course, it's made for dogs and just looks like human food, but he won't be telling the baboon that. "Park your ugly cheeks anywhere you want."
The baboon shoved the dachshund aside and stuck his whole head inside a box full of small treats that were clearly mini-sized bones of all sorts of meaty flavors. The baboon didn't even bother to look at any of them before dunking his head inside. All that mattered to him was the fact that whatever he was eating tasted scrumptious!
The dachshund didn't expect this response, though. He was just going to give him a few! "Hey, w-wait a second," he says, starting to warn the monkey. But watching the baboons tail wag happily, he decides against it. He'll soon learn anyway. Eventually, the dog is now looking at a full baboon with a slightly distended belly. "Man, you're a pig," the dog says, sitting on his haunches. "How you feeling?"
The baboon sat on the ground with a loud huff and patted his rotund stomach. "Ah, pretty good actually. Dunno what that stuff was but it tasted delicious."
"Oh, just all kinds of flavors, specially made for dogs," The dachshund grin. Gas starts to roil around in the baboons belly. His intestines were objecting to these foreign nutrients, as he would soon find out.
The baboon grunted and contorted his face before he inhaled sharply and leaned to his left, letting out a loud gas bubble from his thick anus before another, shorter burst followed afterwards. The baboon instantly plugged his snout and shook his head in disgust. "PEW-YEW!!! Is that supposed to be normal?!"
The dachshund also held his nose, due to it being a little more sensitive than other animals. "Wave your tail, try and disperse it from your big red ass," he says, though there seems to be an underlying snicker at the baboon's obvious discomfort. "No, not really normal. Maybe your gut is too sensitive."
"Oh geez, when'd you figure that out!?" The baboon stood up as his stomach gurgled again and he winced as his ass jiggled and let out more foul air. For once, the baboon listened to the dog and began to wave his tail to let the stench out of the tent, but somehow, it seemed to make it worse.
The dachshund coughed. "Man, get outta here! Besides, performances start soon. You'd better deal with that problem unless you want to be laughed out of your juggling act!"
"But my gut still hurts! And the judges won't like it if I'm juggling while blasting ass gas!"
The dachshund shoves the baboon out of his tent, head butting the red posterior. "I'm sure you'll be fine!" he says, hiding another chuckle. "I have to get ready myself! You like your rump so much, take care of it!"
The baboon whined loudly and let out another loud fart as he walked over to the performance stage in front of all of the judges. And by the looks of it, he'd be getting on stage soon. "Okay, okay, I'll be fine. It-It's going away anyway; I can feel it. Now...all I gotta do is juggle for a minute or two, head over to a secluded area, and let all the gas out privately."
The baboon's red cheeks quiver from the pressure, as if accusing the baboon for all this. Eventually, it comes time for him to step up. A menagerie of old performers is there, watching critically at the stage. "I heard this baboon is a bothersome one," a lion says to a charmer's snake. "His juggling act is supposed to be alright, so I'll reserve judgment." The director chimpanzee walks up and slaps the baboon on the right cheek. "YOUR UP!" he hollers.
The baboon whimpers again and steps out into the center of the field, the balls resting firmly in his paws. As he exhales twice and is ready to juggle, his stomach growls so much the judges were able to hear it. He drops the balls and holds his fat belly, his knees shaking and sweat coming down his head. He wasn't gonna make it. "Uh...s-s-sirs? I-I need to excuse myself for just one...moment..."
One of the judges quirks an eyebrow. "What's the matter with you? Stage fright?"
"NO!!! Trust me when I tell you that I need to-to go....NOW."
The judge sighs. "Fine, go ahead, but these are points off your performance you know!" Unfortunately, even with this the baboon might not make it.
The baboon turned around to run through away from the judges, but the second he turned around, his stomach began to grumble and flare violently and he couldn't move an inch. The baboon gasped and let out a cut-off groan before he shut his eyes. With his hands pressed on his knees and his tail raised, he squatted.
The crowd gasps.
He didn't even have time to try and muffle the sound or even sit down so all the mess would end up buried underneath his rump. With a vociferous shout, the baboon began to fart incessantly as log upon logs of fetid brown primate scat oozed its way out of his bulbous anus and on the ground behind him.
The crowd gasps in revulsion, and are then silent. The baboon is, unfortunately, on the spot. And his bowels are going too soon give him a tougher time than ever before.
The baboon sharts and stops, sharts again and stops briefly, sharts one more time and grits his teeth before raising his tail even more and sticking out his butt to let out more repugnant feces. He was groaning and whining as he let out wet, squishy farts and heard every plop of scat land in the pile behind him. "GOD IT HURTS!!!" he whined, plugging his nose.
One of the judges starts to sputter indignantly. "Baboon, you will cease this spectacle at once!"
Of course, the baboon couldn't hear, as the deafening sound of the crowd groaning at him defecating, and the sound of the seismic farts sputtering out of his ass nearly made the judge's voice smaller than a mouse.
The judge eventually stops trying. But the unfortunate baboon is already in their full attention. Somewhere, the dachshund is shaking his head. Should’ve' ate just one.