Well, gentlemen, March is over and April has begun. I'm glad that I was able to give you a lot of interesting things, but.... I'm disappointed in myself as a person and a writer. Yes, that's the truth, not an April Fool's joke. It all depends on a lot of things. The first one is that my family has declared to me that you, as people on the internet, cannot be my friends, at most hobby colleagues, but only that. And gosh darn it... What a load of crap. I understand everything, but this statement shocked me, and in a very bad way. My parents don't have a bad attitude towards gay people, they don't mind me socializing with them, but they still don't approve of me reading m/m content and especially not in such quantity. In their opinion I will break my psyche that way. And what that was, I never realized.
The second reason is my content. I mean, I posted my IRL photos. Back then, two years ago, I thought it would be cool if I showed my face in public, without my character's mask. Now I think it was a really bad idea. I had to mask my face, and if I ever post my IRL pics again, it will only be with my face blurred out. Because I might get in trouble if someone sees them. There are tons of people like scammers nowadays, so I already regretted posting myself uncensored once.
Also, I've noticed that creativity doesn't please me as much as it used to. I recently had someone come to me who was interested in my stories, and I was a little surprised by that. The thing is, I've started to wonder if I'm ruining the stories that the authors of the novels I like are writing with my “but in a parallel universe” type comments. I've had this happen when I've written fanfic on My Mate or a  blizzardbeast comic book about a TV show with many people's favorite game and cartoon characters. Then I was advised to just let the characters tell the story themselves or just be a spectator in my stories. I took offense to that at first, but now I think maybe those people were right. My stories are too vanilla and there's a lot of things that could be shown in other stories.Moreover, I brazenly inserted myself into many stories and now I think it's inappropriate. I also no longer want to continue the multi-part stories that have been created. Repetition of stamps from the manga, fights that go by so fast that it's not clear what it was in the first place, love lines like in cheap sitcoms. In other words, I don't even know why you still like this.... junk? Trash? It's hard to describe my emotions from what I saw after re-reading the whole thing now.
Why am I writing all of this now? Maybe because the stress of the war and studying (yes, I'm going to university again for three weeks) has burst the dam and I need to speak out. Or something else. Either way, I wish everyone good luck and good health.