tl;dr for artists: I still want to work with you to finish my existing commissions, even with what I say below. I won't request any refunds, and I don't want to ghost you. Also see the last section below.

(update dec 9th 2022: this still applies, I'm just uploading previously commissioned art)

Let's get it out of the way: I have made an unhealthy habit out of viewing erotic furry art.

It has comforted me in the past, and pleased me in so many ways. However, like anything, an addiction can form if you're using that comfort to replace important things that are missing in your life.

I realized that a lot was missing from my life. Community. A creative outlet. A place to play with fantasy. More color in my world. And of course, sexuality.

It started getting out of control. Skipping work so I could browser for hours on end. I'm talking entire days. Skipping social events too.

It's easy to spiral on these things. I felt bad, so I mindlessly did this for hours, so I didn't go outside that day, so I felt guilty and overall unhealthy, so I felt bad... lather, rinse, repeat.

When I hit my "rock bottom", I realized that I was rationalizing how I could take on debt to buy extravagant commissions. To be one of those "suspiciously wealthy furs" who commissions countless pieces from expensive artists. Not even as a status symbol, just because what I had was never enough. Luckily, I stopped myself before taking on any debt. (Well, additional debt. Who doesn't have those damned school loans.)

I've started turning things around. Staying away for the longest periods I've noticed since I realized it's a problem. Finding new, exciting, fun, and fulfilling ways to take care of those other needs.

What is my goal? To not have an "erotic furry art" problem. Does that mean never looking at it again? I don't know. I do think it can be a healthy experience. I think furriness in general is great, and being sex-positive is great. I don't want to get rid of it, but I also don't want it to be a problem. If I have to get rid of it all... well, so be it. Maybe that's not even necessary! Lately I've been able to hold back and experience it all in small chunks.

As of right now, I'm not requesting any more commissions. Not even any YCHs or adopts. Nothing. Not quite for money reasons (but if I kept going at my past rate, it would be for money reasons). I'm trying to find other ways to spend my time, and spending time away from it all is important. Even if I'm not looking at it, needing to be urgently reachable for artist feedback keeps me tethered to it. I also made a promise to my partner that I wouldn't commission any more erotic art. I'm not sure if that'll hold true-- when we have arguments about certain things, boundaries we've asked the other to set sometimes weren't ever a big deal in the first place. And I've felt a little unsupported by them regarding this, but that is an expression of their own fear... it's complicated. Then again, maybe that's addiction-brain justifying things.

Like I said before, I don't want to ghost any artists. If absolutely necessary for my own health, then I'll need to completely distance myself from this community cold turkey. Artists: if you've been trying to reach me for a month, then this has happened. You can take whatever piece you were working on for me, and complete it with your own artistic vision. (Or I'm in a coma or something, but just handle that the same way lol).
If you're an artist I said I wanted to commission again in the future, I'm sorry. I still really want to. But I need to make sure the part of me that wants to is under control.

As I reduce the time I spend here, I'm going to miss those I've talked to as I dipped my toe in the water of this community. But I need to find a healthier way to do that. This account is just my NSFW alt of my SFW main, and I think I can and should spend more time there. I try to keep those parts of myself really separate, for many reasons. I'm sorry if that means I don't interact with you on that side-- not that you'd know it was me.

If you've messaged me asking if I wanted to get art together with your character, or asking if I wanted to adopt your character, or asking if I wanted to commission you, this is why I can't.

I didn't write this for empathy, or for sympathy. I didn't write this as a cry for help-- I have help, and I'm so thankful and privileged for that. I just wrote this to make the situation clear for the people above. And to hold myself accountable, in some way. "Hi, I'm tehpron, and I'm a furry-smut-aholic" and all that. I'm not requesting any of you change your behavior around me (although there's no point in y'all asking for any of the above, now that I've said it all 😛).

But anyway, don't worry about it. I'm working on it. I've made some great progress. Maybe I'll even still be around. I'm just letting you know why certain things are on pause.