TL;DR
I forced a NSFW artist I really liked to draw out of their comfort zone and as a result, they blocked me...
And I totally deserve it...

Let's start at the beginning, I'm a idio--
One day I opened my browser to look at a NSFW art piece made by [REDACTED], a NSFW artist I was following at the time, It wasn't until after I had clicked on the link to the NSFW art I had bookmarked and it showed an error message, that I realized that their account had been unfortunately deleted...

Now, do I know if the website known as [REDACTED] or the NSFW artist themselves deleted it?

No, but what I do know is... I'm stupi--
So after moving on and accepting that I'll never see them again, I ended up discovering a new NSFW artist (the new NSFW artist is a completely different person) on another website called [REDACTED], checking their page often to see if they uploaded and oh my god...
I found them...

The NSFW artist I followed on [REDACTED] was now on [REDACTED], I found them!

But it turns out that the NSFW artist's account on [REDACTED] was inactive...

Luckily, they have an account on here, which leads me into the real story...

So, after following the NSFW artist I thought I would never see again and liking some of their artworks here and there, I finally decided to reach out to them and asked for a request.

Yes, they take requests, that's all I'm going to say...

They asked what I'd like and I explained, they said they would do it but they also said some aspects of my request weren't exactly what they wanted to draw because they didn't feel comfortable about them, I said okay and gave them more info about my request that I didn't mention earlier because my message was long enough, and they said alright.

Btw, when I reached out to them I didn't realize they noted me, (because I mainly use furaffinity on my phone...) so I commented on their latest post to get their attention, and now they've hidden our conversation on that post...

Okay tbh, I actually DIDN'T want to contact them on that art piece, but I thought I had no choice...

Ugh...

The reason why is because it featured a character that I didn't like, I didn't HATE the character in general, I just don't have any feelings for that character... so, I'm kinda glad it's hidden actually...

Then after a while, I finally noticed the message the NSFW artist sent me in my notes and I responded to it after so long...

I apologized for not noticing sooner and explained why I didn't see it for so long, (because I'm on a mobile phone,) and I asked them what other things they don't like to draw.

They answered and then after that, they uploaded my request!

At the time I absolutely loved it, It was so good in fact that I downloaded it!

And after commenting my love for their work and seeing the artist's reply thanking me, I decided to ask them for another request.

And that's when I made that awful mistake that would eventually fill me with pain, regret and most of all...

Guilt...



(KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK)


Huh?
Who could that be?


(Opens door)
Hello?

🧠: HELLO, I'M YOUR CONSCIOUS!

Oh god, not you again...

🧠: YOU MADE ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND INSULTED!

Yeah, I know...

🧠: AND THEY BLOCKED YOU FOR BEING A SELFISH, DISRESPECTING, JERK!

Yeah, I got that...

🧠: THEY'LL HATE YOU FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE, AND YOU'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT FOREVER!

🧠: YOU WORTHLESS, UNDESERVING, SPOILED PIECE OF--

ALRIGHT, I GET IT!!!

(SLAMS DOOR)

*sigh*

Look, I'm not proud of what I've done, I still regret it to this day...

I messaged what I wanted to the NSFW artist and thought to myself afterwards, I cAn'T wAiT tO sEe WhAt It LoOkS lIkE¡


(Well, not really but you get it)


But little did I know that after sending that message to the NSFW artist, they would feel so disrespected and insulted that they blocked me immediately without any hesitation...

I went days without knowing I got blocked by the NSFW artist, and during that time I really thought about what I requested from the NSFW artist, and I realized that I was being very selfish for asking them to draw the same thing they felt uncomfortable drawing last time I asked for a request, so I decided to message the NSFW artist, tell them I wanted to cancel my latest request and apologize for ignoring their preferences, but when I clicked on that post button, a system message popped up saying...

"You are unable to send a message to [REDACTED] because that user has put you on their block list."

Block...list...?

I've been... blocked...?

I tried everything, I tried giving them a shout, nothing...
I tried composing a new message to them, still nothing...
I even tried liking one of their posts, absolutely nothing...

I was completely locked out, and there was nothing I could do...

But, they did have a link to another account of theirs on [REDACTED], I felt like I had no other choice and I decided to message them on that other account...
I was reluctant, but I did it anyway and apologized to the artist for being so selfish, and I even WANTED them to block me...

I could've pretended to be a different person on my account on [REDACTED], but obviously that would be wrong...

I even said to them, "You're free to block me..."

"I just wanted to say sorry, that's all..."

And before I could see what their response was, I left the chat and when I came back, I was blocked...

I don't even know what they said, but they probably said something like...

"Please don't contact me again"

Or...

"Thank you for at least apologizing to me, but please stop trying to talk to me..."

Or worst of all...

"Stop stalking me, you creep..."

I still have the request the NSFW artist drew for me, and now it just fills me with guilt and disappointment, because the artist who drew it was drawing out of their comfort zone, and even though they didn't want to, they did it anyway...

And that's something I can respect, I just wish I'd shown them that same respect...

🍆: YEA, BUT THAT IMAGE IS STILL HOT!

OH SHUT UP YOU!
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, THE ARTIST WOULDN'T SEE ME AS A SELFISH JERK!

🍆: MY FAULT!? THAT'S THE BRAIN YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!

Oh yeah...
THE BOTH OF YOU ARE TO BLAME, YOU %#@&!!!

🍆: OY, I AM NOT A--

🍆: oh wait, I'm LITERALLY a @%$#...

🍆: nevermind...

*sigh*

I said it once and I'll say it again, I'm a idiot...

I was thinking with my %$@# rather than my brain when I made that disrespectful request, only thinking about what I wanted, and not what the artist wanted...

And now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life...

After I was blocked by the NSFW artist TWICE on each account, I was now truly locked out, practically forbidden from talking to them again, I was distraught...

I just laid down on my bed, tossing and turning while thinking about everything that just happened until around 1:30 in the afternoon...

Heck, it was worse the day after, I stayed in bed until 2:00 PM!

A whole half hour more!

But at least I did something during that time...

I played games on my phone while in bed.

Yes, it's not really productive but at least it was something...


🧠: YEA, SOMETHING COMPLETELY USELESS, JUST LIKE YOU!!!


SHUT UP CONSCIOUS!!!



*sigh*

Oh god, this is getting too long...

Now, some time has passed, and of course I still feel bad...

But, now it's more of a mild disappointment, but I have to be honest...

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this journal...

Part of me still wants to make requests to that artist, maybe get to know them a little better...

But I doubt that'll happen anytime soon now...

If you managed to read all of this, firstly, you're absolutely amazing!

Seriously this is LONG, I'm very impressed you made it this far.

But if you skipped ahead, I don't blame you...

I typed my BUTT off, so it's fine if you didn't read my long rant...

So, the lesson here is...

Artists are people too, both sfw and nsfw...

They're not machines programmed to do your bidding and make art at a moments notice...

They're real people, with real lives and we should respect them and their boundaries...

So don't be like me...

Don't be a jerk and berate these artists with disrespectful nonsense...

I learned that the hard way...

Please, respect the artists...

And the time they use to make people happy with their work...

Now, if you'll excuse me...

I gotta go watch my brain and my @%&$ inhale an abysmal amount of copium...


🧠: *HUFF HUFF HUFF*

🍆: *HUFF HUFF HUFF*


🧠:*HUFF HUFF HUFF*
🍆: IT'S NOT WORKING!!!



🧠: KEEP GOING, THE ARTIST IS GONNA UNBLOCK US AND WE'RE GONNA MAKE REQUESTS LIKE CRAZY, I KNOW IT!!!
🍆: *HUFF HUFF HUFF*



🧠: *HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF*
🍆: *HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF*



Yeah yeah, keep going you two...
No matter how much you inhale, it'll never change the fact that I got myself blocked...

And it's going to stay that way forever...

(The emoji parts are just there for comedic purposes, nothing else)



Okay, NOW this is the end...
If you managed to read everything in its entirety, you're an absolute legend.

(Also, I'm thinking about deleting this because I don't know what kind of reaction this is gonna have... I think I'll leave this up for a few days and if this get any bad attention, I'll delete it immediately)



Okay👋by👋y👋y👋y👋y👋y👋y👋y👋y👋y👋e👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋👋