I need to get this off my chest. I was going to just save this rant for the Discord server, but I feel like this needs to be more public so I can at least have a chance of reaching out towards someone.

Tonight, I had an epiphany.
I realized I've been extremely de-motivated as of lately and that's mainly because I'm not very confident in my own art. I've been trying to ape better ones but every attempt comes short, failing to copy them in both skill, management, and even aesthetics.

As a result, I've started regressing into an isolated state of stagnation. never really going anywhere, only existing.
To be honest, I am scared of being this noticeable, getting this huge and taking on a huge workload, I've never been very good with participation in social circles, only observing because I get immensely overwhelmed.

The thing is, I want to be free and meet more people, be more open about what I'm into, and especially draw more things for myself and others because that's mainly what I joined this community for.


I know this sounds like a short ramble, my ADHD is acting up and I wanna get this out of the way but if anyone is reading this and can understand what I'm feeling right now, I'd appreciate it if you could tell me. I just hate being alone sometimes, you know?